just a sudden

is 12.57am now
and I'm start doing my blog
just a sudden
my mind come out some memory about my past
when I back in front my laptop
I heard the song ' If I were a boy-Beyonce'
I feel want to cry
seriously I dono why
even now I'm still holding my tears
I thought I already forget my past
and having a new life now
that is what i think
because I never cry about all that
since i promise to myself on November
I still wonder
why my mood so down ?
is it something going to happen ?
please I don't like this kind of mood
I like happy, I like hyper
I'm not this kind of person who always staying sad
I don't want be that kind of people too..
I'm going to start my study soon
I suppose be very happy
cause I'm going to start a new life
meet new friends
but why ? why ? why ?
I hate myself like this
I hate it so much
why I will be like this ?
and today I have no patient to anyone also
I have enough sleep today
but why ?
can someone cheer me up ?
I have no confidence to anyone
even myself
I kinda lost now
where I suppose to go now ?
what I suppose to think now ?
I already set my future
I set my mind to what I'm going to do in future
but why tonight I suddenly become like this ?
I have so many question marks in my mind ?
I'm suffering now..
I hate it..
I really hate it !!!!